Losing the baby weight (or not)

Me: I just don’t seem to be able to lose the baby weight.

GP: What does your day consist of?

Me: 

I wake up at around 7am (as that is the time my son wakes) and change his nappy then go downstairs to get him his breakfast & drink. Every morning, after breakfast, I sit on the floor and put together an elaborate train set for him, which he plays with for 10 minutes before he beckons me to join him on the floor and I pretend to be Percy/James or some other Thomas character.. he is always Thomas!

I empty the dishwasher, restack with pots from the night before & put on a wash load, I then grab some toast & tea before folding the dry washing from the previous day.

I then sit on the floor playing number or alphabet games with my son for 10 minutes.

After that we take the clean washing upstairs and distribute it into various drawers and rooms. I then give him a wash, clean his teeth and get him dressed. We tidy the upstairs, from the disarray caused by spending half an hour upstairs, e.g. toys, books, PJ’s everywhere.

We go back downstairs, I rebuild his train-set (which he has an amazing ability of re-arranging so it no longer fits together). I clear away the breakfast pots and clean down the kitchen surfaces. It is now getting close to 9am and I have been on the go, non-stop for 2 hours.

At this point we normally go out to a class, playgroup or friends house, which means my mind is alert, overseeing my child, but my body is not really on the move. However, this is not relaxation time and as such by the time I’ve got home, prepared myself & Ben’s lunch, cleared the dishes hung out another load of washing and put a new load in, it is time for a well deserved rest. I put my son to bed for a nap.

I then do any online business, shopping, making appointments & any household filing.

Then I sit for an hour of pure bliss.

When my son wakes we watch TV for half an hour and then we play games, do art activities or have a dance around. I then prepare the tea for all of us, hang out another load of washing, eat tea, clear up or bath Benji & put him to bed.

Benji is asleep by 7.30 and the chores are all done by 8pm, then my hubby & I sit down for an hour of well-deserved TV before going to bed at 9ish, as we are exhausted.

GP: And do you see anywhere you could make a change to add in those 20 minutes of exercise?

Me: Ahhhhh, I can see now it’s an impossibility! Thank you for your time, I feel much better.

Representing! Baby dolls for boys

Not really a list more of a catalogue of what I did when faced with the question do I buy my boy a doll?

So, my little man is starting to engage in small world play and I was faced with the question - Do I get him a doll? Now the husbands immediate response was obviously NO. However, I managed to talk him around pretty swiftly after explaining as a 'new man' he had changed as many nappies as me, so why is it strange if his son has a baby doll? At which point he started to relent. I went on to explain that small world play brings on a wealth of routine language which otherwise boys can miss. (This can also be achieved with teddy but I did not tell my husband that)We change the baby's nappy, the baby goes to potty, we feed the baby etc. 

Now I had got the husbands agreement, with the caveat that we were to get him boy baby doll, I set about looking on google for said doll. (By the way, now I am well into recovery from the PTSD, shopping is a fun, leisurely activity rather than that frantic, obsessive type of shopping! As discussed in previous post here.

I decided that if my boy was only getting one doll, we should get one that:

- looked like him 

- one that represented his origins

- I'm South American and my husband is white 

- so I needed a doll somewhere in-between

Here I ran into the first problem, most baby dolls in the UK are white, dark brown or black. He is none of the above so I:

- searched for mixed-race dolls and drew a blank

- searched in America - again nothing

- then I found an American thread which advised looking for a hispanic doll.. bingo! I found this gorgeous baby doll.

 

Now this baby doll cost me £25 and took weeks to come over from the states, it was also quite small when it arrived but I felt it was worth it, to give my son a doll which he could relate to. One which he could feel close to & which he could bond with. 

The day it arrived I unwrapped it with excitement and handed him his new baby. I carefully showed him how we put the baby to bed, and hug and kiss the baby... after 5 mins of small world play, I looked at him feeling super happy with myself. At which point he chucked the doll in the corner, picked up his train and his power toys and tore off round the living room shouting, "train, hammer, train, hammer, hammer, train".

BLOODY MEN!

My only child - an open letter to my friend

An open letter to my friend

Today I told you that we've decided to stick at one child and that we are happy as a three and you replied: 

'Of course you will have another one! You can't have just one child, he will have no-one to play with.'

You do not know the anguish such words cause me. 

You are not there when tears spring to my eyes because I am scared my decision is a selfish one. You are not sitting with me as I google over and over 'should I have a second child?'. You don't have to sit with me reading threads of happy only children, just so I can find some reassurance. 

What shocks me is that you were there after I had my son. You saw the grey cloud, the emptiness in my eyes, the lost months, the broken years. You saw me struggling to contain my tears and anxieties, you watched me bend, break and fight. 

I still hold such sadness in my heart because I was not really with my son when he was born, my mind was far away from him and I could not find my way back. It was a terrifying time for me, my husband and my whole family. 

Our  little boy was brought into the world because we longed for him and that thought kept me going. I did fight my way back from that darkness and my husband was with me every step of the way, we fought together until I felt like myself again. My love for my son grew so strong and now we are the strongest family I know.

My son is a happy, giggly boy, his Mum is a confident, feisty lady, his Dad is a chilled out, lovely man. We are not willing to compromise that happiness, and though that decision hurts me, it is the only way to protect our happy family of three. 

So my friend, please know this decision was not taken lightly. You have not lived my story so you will have a different chapter, but please respect mine. 

(Families come in all shapes and sizes - please add a comment or tweet me, I love to hear from you.)

Twitter @newmumkaboom