I continued breast feeding for 7 weeks as 'breast is best'. However, the promise if a massive hit of love hormone every time I fed my baby just didn't happen for me. Every time I breast fed my anaemia made me feel faint & I almost collapsed a few times, so I started to express at times when I felt strong. It all got so difficult that I phoned the National Breastfeeding line for help... Big mistake! I was told that by pumping I was setting myself up to fail & that my milk would dry up. But it wasn't drying up, it was spurting and leaking all over the place. Again, no prior warning of spurting boobs had been given at our NCT meetings. I had not been told that when my baby wanted milk it would start dribbling down my chest & that if I had no bra on I would be spurting milk all over the place. Neither had it been mentioned that Ben would find himself choking on my boobs which were acting as milk hoses on full blast and that in my attempts to pull him off my boob I might spurt him in the eye causing him to become furious as he is now soaked AND hungry!
I was beside myself with worry as my little man found it harder & harder to feed. I didn't know what to do next I felt I had no choice but to stop, as I wasn't even sure if Ben was getting enough milk. But the guilt of giving up after 7 weeks made me feel awful .. like I was a terrible mother.
This was coupled with the fact that Ben slept like a baby - and when I say this I mean he was noisy as hell!!! He grunted, he groaned & he roared in his sleep- no one warns you of this. No one ever said your baby may grunt like a pig in order to get to sleep, so for the 6 weeks we had him in our room I did not sleep, at all, not a wink.
So, I asked my Health Visitor if we could move him into his own room. I understand that Health Visitors have a job to do but I didn't know scaring frantic mothers, with Post Traumatic Stress, half to death came under their remit. I was basically told - do it at my own peril... as he may die.
Turns out that, for me, stopping breast feeding sped up my recovery & therefore the bonding process. Moving my little man to his own room meant that I got the sleep I so desperately needed & he actually slept better in his own room. I'd advise any nervous Mum to get a baby breathing monitor. The peace of mind it affords you is great.
It took me months, but trust your instinct as a Mother. Remember we need to be protective but it's all a bit OTT . Listen to the experts but really the final decision rests with you. Each baby is different & each Mummy is different - you know yourself & you will get to know your baby so learn to trust yourself.
