Worry monkeys

The worry monkeys come at night,
They creep inside my brain,
They wait until I'm sleeping tight,
Then wake me up again,

They toss my worries in the air,
And make me feel quite nervous,
They tell me that life isn't fair,
And all I do is worthless,

I worry about everything,
That could possibly go wrong,
I feel like such a weakling,
When really I'm quite strong,

In the morning I feel drained,
Rather than refreshed,
Those worry monkeys in my brain,
Won't let me get my rest.


Anyone else had this problem?

The worry monkeys overwhelmed me when I had PTSD & I literally could not close my eyes. Luckily for me counselling & meds really helped, my worry monkeys are being controlled.

What do you do to get rid of yours?

Love to hear from you - comment below or Twitter @newmumkaboom

Newmumkaboom x

Real mummy life

Idealistic pre-mummy + Frantic actual mummy = Real mummy life

Things I thought I would do on maternity leave..

• be very tired
• stare lovingly at the baby for hours
• sleep when the baby slept
• sleep with the baby next to me
• enjoy smiles and giggles from the baby
• sunbathe while the baby slept
• go out for coffees and lunches
• have date nights while the baby's with a babysitter

Things I actually did on my maternity leave...

• Realised why sleep deprivation is used as a tool of torture
• stared at the baby with a growing sense of confusion
• discovered that some babies grunt loudly when sleeping (apparently quite normal -who knew?!?)
• realised that grunting makes it impossible to sleep next to the baby
• found out that babies don't smile or giggle for bloody ages.. they just poop, eat and cry
• found out that instead of sunbathing, coffees and lunches I would be constantly feeding, changing, washing and sleeping
• As for date nights... ha, my husband was lucky if he found me dressed in something other than a fluffy dressing gown covered in baby sick & smelling of poop - I certainly wasn't bringing sexy back  

Things I thought I would do with a toddler...

• finally leave the toddler with a friend so my husband and I could have a date night
• teach my toddler lots of new things
• get stupidly excited when my toddler learned something new
• dance around the living room to cheesy music
• jump in lots of puddles
• sing songs
• run and run until we could run no more
• kiss my toddler lots
• cuddle my toddler a bit too much
• giggle until our tummies hurt

Things I actually do with my toddler...

• all of the above

I hope my lists made you smile! 

Below is a pic of my little man joining in with some dancing at Kew Gardens - you can't see it but he's smiling from ear to ear. 

Having a baby is really hard work for all new parents. This especially true for parents who experience PND or PTSD. There is support if you are struggling, please seek help through your GP you can be referred through the NHS or through private healthcare.

It might take a while to get there but you can recover... you are great parents fighting to emerge from a grey cloud. Keep on going ... it's worth the fight. 

I am taking part in www.newmummyblog.com #thebabyformula

Support

In triage I was told I was doing great, 

That the baby’s now coming and it’s all down to fate,

I entrusted myself to that clinical place, 

I trusted the professionals to keep me safe,  

The doula told me that I could breath through the pain, 

That I didn’t need to feel anguish or shame, 

That my baby was coming in this lovely room,

With candles and music and it would happen so soon,

But our perfect birth was not meant to be, 

The midwives rushed in just to tell me, 

The decision to put you here was all wrong, 

The baby’s in danger you’re being moved along,

The words you spoke ripped through my calm,

They caused me to feel unsafe and alarmed,

The next contraction hit like a wave,

A pain so harsh it ripped me away, 

After that time went by in a blur, 

You told us how unlucky we were, 

To be there on the busiest day, 

With no-one available to relieve my pain,

I entrusted myself to that clinical place, 

I trusted the professionals to keep me safe,  

But there weren’t enough staff to care for us, 

And now I will tell you what that does, 

It causes women to suffer in pain, 

It makes them scared to do it again, 

It sends their mind to a dark place, 

It wipes the smile off of their face, 

It triggers nightmares, panic and tears,

It fills women full of anguish and fears, 

It takes women who should be great Mums,

And makes them feel like terrible ones, 

This is too high a price to pay, 

For any woman on any day,

Ensuring a woman has a supported birth,

Now can you tell me what that’s worth?